what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
