he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
