How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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