it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize