Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We are all done wearing pants today
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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