I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
