I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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