I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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