I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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