I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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