i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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