she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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