You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
