It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
