Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
