That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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