I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize