i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
