Umm I'm too high to move.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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