My first STD was from a foam party
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
