ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
