who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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