all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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