i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
