is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize