covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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