I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
