Me. At least after what I've been through.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
