I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
