she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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