Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize