I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
