we're blogging at a bar
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
