just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
