So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
