If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
