i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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