Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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