I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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