hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
