i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
