i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
