My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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