a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
