Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
