Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
