I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They took my balls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
