Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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