do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
