like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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