So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do cheetos always look like penises
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
