ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
