If that was your dad, he is hot
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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