Little spoons don't ask big questions
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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