Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
