I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
