What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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