there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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