Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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