dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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