My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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