Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
