I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
