dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
