grandma shit on top of the toilet
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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